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Archive for July 21, 2009

Write lines

Example 1:

Fleur looked down her nose at Guilliame, something she was accomplished at, being six foot three in her stocking feet, and having one of those long French noses, not pert like Bridget Bardot’s, but more like the one that Charles De Gaulle had when he was still alive and President of France and he wore that cap that was shaped like a little hatbox with a bill in the front to offset his nose, but it didn’t work.

Example 2:

How best to pluck the exquisite Toothpick of Ramses from between a pair of acrimonious vipers before the demonic Guards of Nicobar returned should have held Indy’s full attention, but in the back of his mind he still wondered why all the others who had agreed to take part in his wife’s holiday scavenger hunt had been assigned to find stuff like a Phillips screwdriver or blue masking tape.

Example 3:

I entered the bedroom again, looking for anything the killer might have missed in his obvious attempt to clean the crime scene, when it hit me, the victim hadn’t been eating just any potato salad, it was German potato salad, the kind usually served warm, with bacon and although most people prefer the traditional American potato salad, it was clear that this victim didn’t, oh no, he didn’t prefer it at all.

Rejoice. The San Jose State University-sponsored Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest results out, and as always [The best from the past], there is some deliriously delightful writing. [Wiki entry on the inimitable line that started it all; and a story from the Guardian's archives has more.]

Categories: Arts & Letters Tags: ,

It’s the process, stupid

July 21, 2009 4 comments

Electricity in our villages can help control population growth. Electricity will lead to television in houses, which will lead to population control. When there is no light, people get engaged in the process of population growth.

That comment courtesy our Minister for Health and Family Welfare, Shri Ghulam Nabi Azad. Who was the bloke who once said man is the only animal that elects someone less capable to lead him?

The quote courtesy Amit Varma, who has more by way of comment.


Brute force

Aakash Chopra starting a new column that looks at cricket from a player perspective is good news — cricket writing cries out for such a viewpoint. In fact, it is unfortunate that the many former cricketers who, post retirement, take up media assignments [and this is true not just of the Indians but even the British commentators] talk/write like journalists and not as those with the experience to interpret on-field events from an insider perspective.

Aakash’s mission statement in the opening column is therefore spot on:

The name for this series might suggest that you’re going to be treated to some juicy dressing-room gossip, but let me state straight off that this is nothing of the sort. Instead, I’ll be attempting to take you inside a player’s mind – how we think, what we think about, and how and why we do what we do.

This is an effort to take the reader beyond what is visible: how cricketers prepare for different kinds of pitches, different teams, different kinds of bowlers. It is not always obvious why certain batsmen feel comfortable against pace, why the feet of some go across while playing a left-arm spinner, why some players are able to concentrate for longer than others. I will try to give you our side of the story, drawing on personal experiences, and wherever possible, what I have assimilated from playing alongside others.

This series will not be merely a study of the technical aspects; it will look at mental build-up, emotional and psychological aspects too. I hope to look at different features of the game: concentration, visualisation, preparation, leadership, playing spin, playing swing, opening in different formats, among others.

Aakash starts off with the bouncer, and the inaugural column is all you want it to be. For the average bloke, it’s hard to figure out what the fuss is about — duck, you dummy, the damn thing is just so much waste of effort if you do, just about sums up our reaction when someone fends at a lifting delivery and gets out like a dork. See if from the point of view of the bloke facing it across 22 yards, though, and the ‘nasty, brutish and short’ weapon takes on a whole new dimension. Enjoy.

Categories: cricket

England reclaims Lord’s

July 21, 2009 5 comments

Not surprisingly, every newspaper in Britain is full of Freddie Flintoff and every Australian writer equally full of the umpires.

Strauss said later: “After he took that first wicket this morning, he said, ‘By the way, just to let you know, I’ll keep on going until all the wickets are gone. ‘ I said, ‘It sounds like a good plan to me.’”

The irresistible force of Flintoff’s pace and precision smashed Australia’s resistance and finally wrote the name of the crocked colossus with the pin-cushion knee on the board of English bowlers who have claimed five Test wickets in an innings at this great London warehouse of myth and legend. To allow his pre-lunch rampage to outshine one of the finest England team performances anyone here could remember might seem reductionist and a surrender to the cult of personality.

But one of the enduring charms of team sports is that gifted individuals can burst from the fog of collective responsibility and steal the show with their own unstoppable talent. From the moment Haddin could only deflect a fizzing Flintoff delivery to Paul Collingwood in the slips – the Australian wicketkeeper departed without adding to his overnight 80 – this history-making second Test became a study in one man’s quest to leave an audience not just wanting but slavering for more.

That’s Paul Hayward in the Guardian. One of Flintoff’s former captains, Mike Atherton, is equally effusive:

When Nathan Hauritz shouldered arms and heard the clatter of leather on stump, Flintoff stood in the middle of the pitch, legs splayed, arms raised aloft. He was mobbed. When, 25 runs later, he castled Peter Siddle with a similar ball, to ensure that his name would be on the honours board for posterity, he knelt down on one knee in the middle of the pitch, head bowed, as if about to be knighted. He was mobbed again. He rose up through the clamour of his team-mates and saluted each corner of the ground, with a special nod to the Grand Stand where the WAGs were sitting.

Scyld Berry celebrates the combustible combination of talent, heart and showmanship that went into the Flintoff effort on the final day.

It will have a psychological impact on the rest of this series too. When Flintoff plays, Australia’s batsmen will view him as virtually unplayable. Because he was, from the pavilion end, unplayable as he pounded in and delivered at 90mph, jagging down the slope or holding the line, and pitching a slightly – but crucially – fuller length than he had done in Australia’s first innings.

And give Flintoff credit too for taking the crowd with him. It is showmanship if you like but it is also the attribute of the elite sportsman. Inspired and inspiring, Flintoff and the Lord’s crowd between them overwhelmed Australia.

Simon Barnes says you cannot measure Flintoff’s greatness by the numbers; the yardstick he prefers is the memories of those occasions [unfortunately less frequent than his fans hope for and his talent suggests] when he rises above the rest, and even above himself:

Oh, you can delve into the stats all you like and you can prove by algebra that Flintoff was worse than this bloke and not even as good as that bloke. And you can say that since the Ashes series of four years ago, Flintoff has neither consistently played nor, when he has, consistently delivered. And all these things are true, but they do not affect the matter of greatness.

Flintoff’s may not go down in history as the greatest of great careers. But Flintoff can do greatness — genuine greatness — on a seasonal basis, as he did four years ago, and on a daily basis, as he did yesterday. His thundering spell of mesmeric hostility first snuffed out the candle flame of Australian hope and then plunged them into the darkness of defeat. He bowled for an hour and a half in excess of 90mph, and every ball was a drama. Not bad for a lame lad.

Ten overs of remorseless spite, ten overs of unsparing effort. That’s one of the hallmarks of greatness: the ability to seize a moment. Flintoff never feels upstaged by greatness of an occasion. When the occasion is right, when all is right in himself, he can find the greatness to match it.

At the other end of the scale is Greg Baum, who is unimpressed with everything England: Strauss sucks, the Brits sledge more than the Australians [shock, horror!] and so on in a churlish whine.

It was evident before the series began, in the widespread sneering towards the unorthodoxy of rookie opener Phillip Hughes. It showed in England’s elaborate time-wasting tactics at the end of the first Test in Cardiff, which lay in that bleak no-man’s-land between gamesmanship and cheating. Never mind that the umpires should have acted more forcefully: the laws of the game enjoin the captain to uphold the spirit.

At Lord’s, England again has been the uglier team. Strauss claimed a catch that replays showed to be doubtful. Protocol demands that the batsman takes the fieldsman’s word. But practice is for the fieldsman most times to indicate that he is unsure, ceding the decision to the umpires. In contemplating the propriety of Strauss’ action, it is irrelevant that the umpires subsequently made a botch of the decision anyway.

England’s bowlers have sledged more than Australia’s. From 20,000 kilometres, it scarcely matters what they are saying: it is a puerile look. England was unconscionable in the way it wrapped up Flintoff in cotton wool in the pavilion between bowling spells. England observed few niceties. When Mike Hussey was given out erroneously, the England players leapt into one another’s arms without a backward glance at the umpire.

To the naked eye, it looked regulation: a drive, a noise, a snick, a sharp catch at slip. But Hussey stood for a moment, suspecting what a replay confirmed, that he had not hit the ball. This should have alerted England to the need at least to appeal. It did not.

A cricket team takes its cues from its captain. Flintoff was more suited to leading by example than instruction, Pietersen was divisive, but Strauss’ appointment looked to be a vote for good sense. Counter-intuitively, Strauss’ England had revealed itself to be competitive, but manipulative and petty.

Baum goes on to say that his column will likely be regarded as sour grapes. No kidding?! He also points out that he has been critical of Australia when it has pushed the envelope during the height of its dominance. Well, good for him.

There is however one point he does not get: What England is doing today is straight out of the template Australia perfected when it was the dominant team in world cricket:

Sledge? Check. Bully, hector? Check. Appeal for anything and everything, and pressure umpires needlessly? Check. Appeal for catches that were not cleanly taken? Check. Waste time when it suits them? Check. Celebrate the dismissal of a batsman, knowing fully well that he has been wrongly given out? Oh but of course, check.

What is gamesmanship to the goose…

The point, Mr Baum, is that the example has been not just set, but carved in stone by an Australian chisel. Now that Oz is not so hot, other teams who have been at the receiving end of ‘the spirit of playing hard but fair’ will take their cues accordingly — so yeah, it does sound a bit ‘sour grapes-y’ when you rabbit on in this fashion.

In all this celebration of Flintoff and denigration of the British ‘spirit’, one silver lining could get missed out on: Ricky Ponting, who accepted defeat with rare grace. I saw large chunks of the Aussie chase, and at times couldn’t help a ‘what if’.

What if ludicrously incompetent umpiring hadn’t meddled with the outcome? Could Australia have mounted a chase for the ages? From available replays, it wasn’t perfectly clear if Andrew Strauss had caught Phil Hughes clean, and the option of challenging decisions is still some months from being implemented. But surely the umpires, who had gone upstairs on a doubtful Nathan Hauritz catch of Ravi Bopara, could have done the same here? And if this was a borderline decision that likely would have gone the other way had the third umpire been called in, Michael Hussey’s was downright daft.

Two good batsmen done in by dubious umpiring — and the margin of victory was just 115 on a chase of 521.

Ponting would have for once been right to have voiced a mild complaint, but his post-match comments struck a far healthier note:

“There are fundamental skill errors that we have made in this game,” Ponting said. “I’m not just talking about the bowling. We didn’t bat very well either in our first innings. Two hundred-odd on that wicket was a long way short of what we needed to get.

“The first two days was where the game was decided. I was pretty happy with the way we stuck at things for the remainder of the game. It’s just little skill errors that have cost us big time.”

“It’s grabbing the momentum when you can and running with it for as long as you can that’s going to decide this series,” Ponting said. “If you look at this game, they grabbed the momentum on day one, ran with it, and we found it hard to wrest it back.

“A lot of Test matches are won with what happens in the first hour’s play. We were a fair bit off at the start of this game and we have to make sure we’re a whole lot better when we start the third one.”

And finally, Pup. Peter Roebuck salutes an innings that, as Michael Clarke himself said, did nothing to change the outcome. But I watched large chunks of it, and it was as good as it gets: With the bulk of his side back in the hut, the pressure must have been enormous, but there was no sign of that in Clarke’s fluid batting.

When someone asked me on Twitter, before the start of this series, what my prediction of the outcome was, I said Oz to win, but no whitewash — it will be a close series, like 2-1 or so. Nothing I’ve seen in this Lord’s Test tempts me to change that prediction.

Categories: cricket Tags: , , , ,

Bhimsen: Episode 61

July 21, 2009 43 comments

[Episode 60] [Archives]

The mist rolling in off the river added a layer to the darkness of the night.

It was Drona’s decision to continue the battle beyond dusk. The Kaurava commander was under increasing pressure from Duryodhana who, our spies told us, had accused the acharya of pulling his punches, of not attacking flat out against his favorite disciples.

The heralds had signaled a cessation of hostilities when Jayadratha fell, but there was barely time to replenish our quivers and tend to our wounds before the blare of trumpets summoned us back onto the field.

A sudden, blinding ball of flame exploded in the air a little ahead of me. Close on its heels came the unmistakable sound of Ghatotkacha marking another kill – a shrill, ululating cry that pierced the ear and paralyzed the mind.

My son hadn’t exaggerated: he owned the night and already, an hour or so into the fighting, there was enough indication that Drona had blundered badly.

For once, Ghatotkacha was fighting in formation. His chariot was in the lead, flanked by two others on either side. Around them were ranged his small but highly effective band, fighting on foot the way they liked to.

I had gone up in support, but I really had very little to do. The men slipped in and out of the shadows at will, dealing death with sword and bow and spear and melting away before the enemy could react to their presence. But even this silent, deadly assault paled in comparison with what Ghatotkacha and his four companions were doing.

Every so often, one of them would toss a ball of pitch high in the air; another hit it with a flaming arrow and as the pitch exploded in flames, they went to work, brutally massacring the stunned, blinded Kaurava forces.

It was a scene straight out of hell: the screams of the dying mingled with the panic-stricken yells of their fellows who found fire raining down on them from above.

A messenger arrived from Krishna to put me on guard. Drona, Krishna warned, might use the cover of night to try to kill or capture Yudhishtira.

Visokan drove headlong towards that part of the field where my brother was stationed. We arrived just as Ashwathama launched a ferocious assault on Yudhishtira’s position. Satyaki and Nakula had already come up in support; as I slipped into a defensive position in front and covered my brother, Drona and Kritavarma drove up to join Ashwathama.

Fighting in the dark of the night was, despite the massive torches both sides had deployed, nightmarish. Without a clear view of the field, it was difficult to assess the situation tactically and deploy counter measures. We surrounded Yudhishtira on all sides in a defensive formation, but it seemed to me that we were vulnerable to a flat out assault from any one point.

Visokan brought my chariot up close beside my brother’s; amidst the din of combat I argued for discretion, and finally persuaded Yudhishtira to leave the field.

It was not that my brother was lacking in courage. Though not as skilled as Arjuna and I, he was in fact a better warrior than either Nakula or Sahadeva, especially when fighting from a chariot. But it would serve no purpose for him to be felled by a stray arrow, or to be captured, I pointed out.

With the immediate danger averted, I ranged the field looking to inflict damage where I could, and came upon Sahadeva staggering around in the dark. His armor had been shattered; he was bleeding from multiple wounds, and seemed on the verge of collapse.

“Karna!” Sahadeva told me, once I had lifted him onto the deck of my chariot and settled him down. “He destroyed my chariot, broke my bows, cut my sword to pieces… he humiliated me, he had me completely at his mercy – and when I was disarmed and defenseless, he flicked me in the face with his whip and told me to go tell our mother that he had sent her another gift. And then he drove off!

“What did he mean?”

“Who knows!” I pretended disinterest as Visokan drove back at speed towards our camp. “Never mind that – we have to get your wounds tended.”

We pulled up outside Yudhishtira’s lodge, and I carried Sahadeva inside. Visokan changed to a single-horse chariot, and drove back onto the battlefield to see what was going on. I called for some Sura and, with Yudhishtira for company, sat awaiting the reports of our messengers and spies.

“Tonight is good for us,” Yudhishtira said. “Satyaki killed Somadatta, hadn’t you heard? But it is your son who is winning us this war. Duryodhana sent the rakshasa Alayudha at the head of a large force to attack Ghatotkacha – your son and his men slaughtered them all; Ghatotkacha cut off Alayudha’s head and in the dark, drove up to Duryodhana’s chariot and threw it at him! He is fearless, that boy…”

Visokan walked in just then – and it seemed that he, too, couldn’t stop talking of Ghatotkacha’s deeds this night.  “If this goes on for much longer, the war will be over tonight,” Visokan said. Drona had sent his son, supported by a force of about one thousand troops, against Ghatotkacha.

“It was something to see! Ghatotkacha had his men with him – some two hundred of them, I think. The way they fight, oof! They slip through the shadows, and the only sign of their presence is the bodies they leave behind. The Kaurava troops were slaughtered; Ashwathama has been wounded, badly I think – I saw him in headlong retreat.”

Messengers came in with fresh reports. Out on the eastern side of the field Drona and Dhristadyumna were locked in fierce combat; Karna had joined in, a messenger reported.

Krishna walked in just then with Arjuna. “Where is Ghatotkacha?” Krishna asked. “Send a messenger to him – let him go in support of Dhristadyumna. Ghatotkacha is a peerless warrior, even more so at night – if anyone can stop Karna, it is him.”

Visokan drove off to deliver the message.

I decided to return to my lodge – it was nearing midnight; the fighting wouldn’t last much longer before the trumpets called a halt and before you knew it, it would be dawn and the killing would begin all over again.

For how much longer could this war go on, I thought as I walked. Already both sides had taken grievous losses – the Kauravas far more than us. But the major warriors remained undefeated – Duryodhana, Drona, Karna and Ashwathama on the Kaurava side; Arjuna, Dhristadyumna and I on our side. And until the leaders fell, the killing would go on…

I sat on the little stoop outside my lodge, taking occasional sips of the goatskin of sura I had provided myself with.

A blaze of light caught my attention. I jumped up and looked out in the direction of the field. An enormous fireball lit the night sky; over the din of battle I heard the voice of my son — fierce, triumphant.

And then, suddenly, silence – punctured a few moments later by the trilling call of the trumpets crying truce for the day.

I stretched out on the bed, trying to ease the aches and pains of a long day. Outside, I heard the clatter of hooves. Visokan came running into the room.

“Karna almost died today,” he said. “He was forced to use the Shakti to save himself. Ghatotkacha is dead.”

I ran towards Yudhishtira’s lodge, where the lights still burnt bright. My brother rushed up and hugged me tight.

“I am overwhelmed with grief,” he said. “First Abhimanyu. Now Ghatotkacha. I still remember the respectful boy who came to our help at Gandhamadhana… the eldest of our sons… our heir… “

Nakula and Sahadeva came up to hug me, their faces, like Yudhishtira’s, etched in grief.

I slumped to the floor in a corner of the room. Moments later, Krishna rushed in.

“What is this?! Why the long faces? Karna had one weapon, one chance, against Arjuna and now that too is gone. We should be celebrating. Where are the balladeers – why are they silent, the fools? Have them strike up the music!”

Did Krishna see me in the shadows? I suppose not. I slipped out without a word, but Krishna’s voice followed me, adding fuel to the anger I felt burning deep inside of me, anger I did not know how to vent and on whom.

“He may be Bhima’s son but Ghatotkacha is a tribal, a rakshasa. Which of us kings could rule in peace, knowing he and his men were out there somewhere – a renegade band of tribals who come in out of the forests and raid us at will, and against whom all our war craft is useless? Balarama and I had long had it in mind to go after him, to find and kill him and his men — it was only because of this war that I spared him.”

I heard Yudhishtira say something, but the words were low pitched, indistinct. And then Krishna laughed – a harsh, cruel, triumphant sound.

“Do you take me for a fool? It was not for nothing that I sent that message asking him to attack Karna. I knew no one could stand up to Ghatotkacha; it followed that when faced with the prospect of his death, Karna would be forced to use his Shakti.

Now Arjuna is safe – what is the life of a tribal compared to that?!”

I fought down the surging anger that threatened to overwhelm me and headed in the direction of the field. The chandalas were hard at work, piling the bodies of the dead onto their ox-wagons. I walked towards where I had seen that last fireball, and finally I found him.

My first born – sent to die so my brother could live.

My son – born to the woman who one magical evening in the forest had stilled my doubts, who had proved to me that I was not impotent like my father.

Hidimbi — the first woman I had ever had; the first woman I had ever loved…

Loved?!

A sense of shame engulfed me. I had enjoyed my time with her, but when my brother decided it was time to move on and my mother said I had to leave her behind, I had turned my back on her and walked away without a backward glance. In all these years it had never occurred to me, obsessed as I was with Draupadi, to go looking for her.

Even when Ghatotkacha came to me that evening eleven days ago to tell me he had come to fight for me, I never once thought to ask after his mother…

And now he lay there at my feet, this child born to a woman I had loved and left, his chest split open by an enormous iron javelin the likes of which I had never seen before. Around us, head bowed, faces streaked with tears, stood the few dozen members of his tribe that had survived this night.

Vultures wheeled high overhead; in the shadows surrounding us I sensed the gathering presence of jackals sensing a feast.

I had thought, as I stood beside Arjuna earlier that evening, the most heart-breaking thing a man could do was perform the funeral rites for his son. I now knew a greater sorrow — here I stood, a father looking down at the slain body of his son, knowing that he did not even merit a proper funeral.

Ghatotkacha was a Nishada; a tribal. The rules that governed us prohibited cremation for such as him – rakshasas were just so much fodder for the scavenging beasts that roamed the battlefield.

A sudden revulsion swept over me – revulsion for a war that would win us a kingdom in return for the lives of our young.

I pulled the javelin from his chest and hurled it far into the night. Lifting Ghatotkacha’s lifeless body in my arms, I strode through the blood-soaked field and headed for the cremation ghat.

I would not leave my son for the jackals and vultures to prey on. He would get a proper funeral, even if I had to build his pyre with my own hands.

Categories: Bhimsen Tags: , , ,

1000 words and more

July 21, 2009 1 comment

Courtesy the Telegraph, a great sequence of photographs of divers frozen in action at the FINA World Diving Championships in Rome. Enjoy.

Point of entry/Courtesy: The Telegraph

Point of entry/Courtesy: The Telegraph

Categories: Sports Tags: , ,
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