Increased sex drive causes breast cancer

Okay, I skipped a couple of steps in there. It goes thusly:

Red wine increases a woman’s sex drive.

Drinking wine increases the risk of breast cancer.

Drinking wine also helps prevent cancer.

Very helpful, all this reasearch is.

And while on research: Why do monkeys shout during sex? Do pregnant women walk sexier than their not-knocked up peers? Are ordinary bras enough to support breasts? If I communicate through smoke signals, do herrings communicate by farting passing wind? Are non-human primates attracted to women wearing red? Do women with curvy hips have a greater IQ? All this and more ‘research’ here.

The Wall Street Journal looks at the phenomenon of ridiculous ‘research’.

Given the current push for “evidence-based medicine,” we may well see more studies attempting to confirm the previously only suspected, providing ongoing fodder for Duh! (As editor-in-chief, I’m thinking of tapping Gordon C.S. Smith, a University of Cambridge obstetrician, who wrote a classic paper in the British Medical Journal in 2003 noting that he could find no randomized controlled trials testing whether parachutes prevent death and injuries in response to “gravitational challenge” —i.e., jumping out of aircraft.)

Like Dr. Smith, a few academic researchers are having a bit of fun, which we will certainly encourage in Huh? Georg Steinhauser, a chemist at the Vienna University of Technology, said it was the surprise of his career that the journal Medical Hypotheses accepted his study entitled “The Nature of Navel Fluff.” Inspired by a question posed in the 2005 book, “Why Do Men Have Nipples?” Dr. Steinhauser theorized that belly-button lint is largely the result of abdominal hair channeling loose shirt fibers. To test his hypothesis, he collected 503 pieces of his own belly-button lint over three years, wearing different shirts. Then he shaved his abdominal hair and found that no more lint collected.

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6 thoughts on “Increased sex drive causes breast cancer

  1. Die, you unbelievers!!

    Ignobel Prize FTW. How is Navel Fluff NOT an important topic. Seriously, this is the sort of thinking that stops scientific progress. I’m sure a lot of people said the same thing about Copernicus.

    😉

  2. These trivial research topics must be costing a lot of dollars. Imagine the benefit to mankind if all this money was spent on the more critical issues facing our world – like the average amount of alchohol a man can input in his system before the body signals the stomach to dispose off the liquid via the reverse gravitational process. Or the method of increasing the average input level.

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