Tot up the points Malcolm Conn makes in this piece of — not to put too fine a point on it — tripe:
1. Rudi Koertzen is a poor umpire.
2. Cricket is all the poorer for having Rudi pottering around out there in the middle.
3. Rudi is not the reason Australia is behind in the ongoing Ashes series.
4. Rudi gave three Australians wrongfully out in the second innings at Lord’s.
5. Koertzen gave Mitchell Johnson out when he wasn’t and Ian Bell not out when he was.
6. Umpiring is such a low priority that bad umpires continue to be tolerated.
7. India makes a lot of money out of cricket.
8. So somehow — let’s not sweat the details, what are you, anal? — it is all India’s fault.