Back to traditional cricket..

..or at least, to tradition at the cricket.

Sari-clad cheerleaders will perform for the first time during the day and night one-day international cricket match between India and Sri Lanka Dec 21 at Barabati Stadium in Cuttack.

The cheerleaders will wear Sambalpuri saris — the oldest form of the tie-and-dye handwoven textile — and perform whenever a boundary is hit or a wicket falls, Orissa Cricket Association (OCA) secretary Ashirbad Behera told IANS.

“At least 15 Oriya girls between 18 and 20 would be selected for the purpose. They will be placed in three different parts of the stadium,” he said.

“The girls will not wear short skirts as has been done in many other places because it would be against our culture and tradition. Our audience will not accept it. They will have modest traditional attire. They will be dressed as per our tradition and culture.”

It is perfectly in keeping with Indian culture to have young women shake their tits and butts in front of a few thousand men — as long as they do it in saris.

There was a time when I seriously contemplated setting up an Indian version of The Onion. Better sense prevailed; also an awareness of my own limitations. No matter how inventive you are, there is no way you can make up anything remotely as wtf as the kind of stuff our contemporary reality produces with such regularity.